A Poem on Transformation

Words by: Zoe Spiers. Follow more of her journey on her Instagram, @boporecoverywarrior.   

To endure the wind, the rain and those that want to bring you down,
It’s a fight that seems impossible to win,
But still you try, try and try again.

The wind thrashes you about,
The storms are a whirlwind in your mind,
Others try to take whatever they need from you,
But still, you stand tall and keep moving.

The dark nights close in,
Or is it a darkness in your head?
The web of torment, pain, fear starts to envelop you,
Until it feels like a hug,
Until you feel safer with the world closing in on you,
Until the demons feel like a world away.

The relief is elating,
And it finally feels like freedom from it all,
But the world hasn’t given up on you just yet.

The challenges thrown your way,
Were thrown because the world knew you were strong enough,
It knew you could endure it,
It knew you could grow from it.

So quickly, as the darkness closed in, light starts to peak through.
At first, it’s daunting as the end seemed to be the only way.
But the challenges thrown your way?
They’ve helped you grow.
You don’t realise it yet,
But because of the darkness,
There is now a light inside you that can guide you,
Just as a lighthouse guides a sailor home safely.

As you make your way through life,
You realise you can protect yourself,
From the wind, the rain, the darkness and the storms.
Suddenly you’re able to fly away,
From those that take without giving anything back.
Despite the challenges thrown at you,
Suddenly, they become more manageable.

With that thought you pause:
Fly? How can I fly?

As you turn around and see your reflection,
A butterfly stares back at you.
The wind, the rain and the birds that tried to take you down,
They couldn’t stop your transformation.
The world threw what it knew you could handle at you,
It knew that you could grow from it,
It knew that despite the darkness feeling suffocating,
That you could transform.
That the light inside you could grow,
Until you are still you,
But a stronger, more resilient version of you.

The challenges, despite all odds,
Helped you turn into a butterfly.
Even when everything felt impossible,
That little light inside you,
The one that kept you going when you wanted to call quits,
It glowed until you found what you were truly looking for.
Until you found home inside you.

Recovery Diary 3/1/19

In honor of NEDA’s Eating Disorder Awareness Week theme “come as you are”

Come as you are

broken and bruised, triumphant and free, or tired and used

Come as you are

black, brown, white, red, or yellow

Come as you are

straight, gay, trans

Jew, Muslim, Buddhist

whatever you may choose   

Come as you are

because eating disorders don’t discriminate

and in order to beat them

we must stop perpetuating stereotypes

eating disorders aren’t thin

or fat

or small

or big

or medium

or just right in the middle without a change to be seen

eating disorder’s aren’t about throwing up or running miles

they aren’t about scales or doctor’s visits or treatment stays that take a long long while.

eating disorders aren’t female, aren’t young, aren’t white, aren’t thin

eating disorder’s attack everywhere

but until now we’ve been to blind to the true monster

somewhere deep deep within

the monster is insidious

it feeds on confidence and freedom

sucking it all out and leaving its victim completely depleted

the monster takes lives

more than my fingers can count

there was him and her and her and him and them and them,  

and next year deaths will start all over again….

eating disorders are killers

they are monsters we can’t see

society has blinded us

convincing us to believe

that the victims are of a certain type

that they fit the medias mold

but people are dropping fast

because it is opposite of what we have been told

eating disorders don’t look like one person

they could affect anyone on the street

we need to start a movement

instead of turning our cheeks

to the epidemic ahead

we must bring voices and stories and a whole lot of noise

we must continue sharing to break societal molds

shout it from the rooftops

speak it on the trains

if you have or have had an eating disorder don’t fight your battle in shame

we are here

we are aware

because for once we know we aren’t alone

for once we can come

Just are We Are