Written by: Molly who is a mental health advocate, traveler, and blogger (http://fullofpep.tumblr.com/mymentalhealth). Unpolished Journey is blessed to have connected with her and have her contribute to our #imnotsorry campaign.
I’m not sorry to break it to you, but running away from your eating disorder won’t work.
I’m in India in this photo, in case you can’t already tell. I’m 16 years old. Your eating disorder isn’t going to leave you, wherever you decide to go in this world. I understand, not eating when you have a mental illness like this doesn’t mean you don’t want to eat, it means you don’t want the anxiety-provoking thoughts in your mind to re-appear.
I know how terrifying they are, especially when no one else can hear how awfully the illness speaks to you. Not eating makes sense because it’s the not eating that kills those thoughts, I get it. But soon enough, not eating will kill you. There’s no two ways about it.
I’m not sorry for spilling the truth to you, exactly how it is, because if you suffer from an eating disorder you can either die trying to get better and succeed in recovery, or you die.
Stop kidding yourself.
3 years later and I’ve recently come back from another trip to Mongolia. A trip I took by myself. A trip that wouldn’t have happened had I still been ill.
This time, I didn’t have an eating disorder to manipulate the people around me and ruin my time.
This time, I reaped the benefits of recovery, because if I had allowed the eating disorder to take more away from my life, then I wouldn’t have experienced a life at all.
You deserve more than your eating disorder is allowing you to believe you do. So #Imnotsorry
Because this is the truth.
Kill your eating disorder, and in return, go get the life you deserve.